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Posts Tagged ‘relatinships’

Many of you know my book Glaen: A Novel Message on Romance, Love, and Relating came out this year.  As a special promotion, the EBOOK is available for FREE until January 9, 2011.  This special promotion gets you in line for the free Small Group Study that accompanies the book.  Of course, the hope is to get the ‘buzz’ to pick up even more for the book…and to get small groups using the material.  Glaen is a novel that takes on a Christian re-thinking of dating, courting, relating, and marriage…in the format of a novel.

Here is a note I received this week:

Hi, Mr. Lybrand!I actually finished Glaen the first day I started it! I believe I finished it in about 2 hours or so. I took notes, re-read it again a day or so later, and will re-read it yet again soon. I loved it.I loved the method for finding deep truths, even if they aren’t that incredibly hard to think of or understand. I gave a mini teaching of it/ discussion with my girls (youth group girls that I’m partly in charge of mentoring and leading) at 3:00am on New Year’s morning. (We were having a sleepover.)The next day when we were having lunch at Culver’s, I noticed that some of the girls at a table near me were having an argument on a tough subject that was bringing frustration and not really cutting to some of the core of the issue. I put to use many of the truths from your book, and the argument was resolved. Mostly what was needed were “just definitions” and a bit of love. I had been learning just before reading this book that I needed to know the exact truth opposite of the lies. Knowing the lies themselves isn’t good enough. This was a huge help! When I thought about it, it was as if I had known these truths in part, but since I couldn’t define them for myself, I couldn’t particularly focus on living them out better, or pray for help on living it.

I have seriously seen a change in myself since reading this book, and I can’t wait to see the change in others. I am so excited about learning more and more truths, now and all throughout the rest of my life!

Thank you!

Blessings,

~ Rachel E. Payauys

Honestly, there are just a few days left…so please go to the site www.glaen.com and sign up.

Also, feel free to pass this along.

God bless,

Fred Lybrand

www.glaen.com

P.S.  Most of all…I’d like your feedback after you’ve read it!

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The Seven Fatal Mistakes of Dating

This is part of 7 blogs through which I want to introduce you to the fatal mistakes in dating that GLAEN introduces to the reader.  If you have a friend or an older child who is making mistakes (or wants to date with a little more wisdom), then these videos are for you to share far-and-wide.  I’d also love your comments…and go get a copy of GLAEN at your local bookstore, amazon, or www.glaen.com

FATAL DATING MISTAKE #7

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The Seven Fatal Mistakes of Dating

This is part of 7 blogs through which I want to introduce you to the fatal mistakes in dating that GLAEN introduces to the reader.  If you have a friend or an older child who is making mistakes (or wants to date with a little more wisdom), then these videos are for you to share far-and-wide.  I’d also love your comments…and go get a copy of GLAEN at your local bookstore, amazon, or www.glaen.com

FATAL DATING MISTAKE #6

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The Seven Fatal Mistakes of Dating

This is part of 7 blogs through which I want to introduce you to the fatal mistakes in dating that GLAEN introduces to the reader.  If you have a friend or an older child who is making mistakes (or wants to date with a little more wisdom), then these videos are for you to share far-and-wide.  I’d also love your comments…and go get a copy of GLAEN at your local bookstore, amazon, or www.glaen.com

FATAL DATING MISTAKE #5

Read Full Post »

The Seven Fatal Mistakes of Dating

This is part of 7 blogs through which I want to introduce you to the fatal mistakes in dating that GLAEN introduces to the reader.  If you have a friend or an older child who is making mistakes (or wants to date with a little more wisdom), then these videos are for you to share far-and-wide.  I’d also love your comments…and go get a copy of GLAEN at your local bookstore, amazon, or www.glaen.com

FATAL DATING MISTAKE # 2

Have the Wrong Goal
✔ Dating just to have fun is a dead end. You really need to have a long term
relationship in mind for it to last.

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From GLAEN, p. 25

Relationship Field Book Journal
Dating:  “having a good time getting to know each other” (referring to guy & girl)
–Jennah

So, here is a journal entry from Glaen out of the mouth of one of Annie’s best friends, Jennah.  Jennah is caught in what we might think of as ‘serial dating’— you know, going through relationship after relationship (like a serial killer, etc.)

Most of us think this is the way to go, but you can tell by the methodology is isn’t very like to help you find a long-term mate if that is what you are wanting in life.  A long-term relationship has some foundational component of commitment, where ‘serial dating’ is really quite throw-away in its approach.  It is amazing how your definition will determine so much (remember my last blog!).  If dating is all about ‘having a good time’ then that can easily turn in  a funny direction.  This is probably why there is an old joke or two out there about a girl you’d like to date vs. a girl you’d like to marry (or guy…).

There is something important in DTR (defining the relationship), but if it were defined better from the beginning you wouldn’t have to stop in the middle of it and break up!

Start here: What am I up to?

Yes, what are you up to in dating?  What are you up to in the relationship?  Are you ready to be committed and get married?  If not, why are you in a short-term committed relationship?  Jennah’s definition isn’t too bad since it is good to get to know others.  But frankly, it quickly turns into a set of expectations about marriage, children, growing old together, etc.

Why not just be honest with others?  Where are you?  What are you ready for?  If you are not ready, why are you playing like you are?

Some people have sought to conquer the issue with something called ‘courting’—which is all about commitment.

So, on one extreme, Cheryl Crow weighs in with words from her music:
All I wanna do is have some fun
Until the sun comes up over Santa Monica Boulevard

On the other side there is Art Garfunkel’s remake hit of 1975:

You are here
So am I
Maybe millions of people go by,
but they all disappear from view.
And I Only Have Eyes For You.

Where is a real relationship?….see you next time!

Fred Lybrand

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