Feeds:
Posts
Comments

Posts Tagged ‘I gave dating a chance’

Many of you know my book Glaen: A Novel Message on Romance, Love, and Relating came out this year.  As a special promotion, the EBOOK is available for FREE until January 9, 2011.  This special promotion gets you in line for the free Small Group Study that accompanies the book.  Of course, the hope is to get the ‘buzz’ to pick up even more for the book…and to get small groups using the material.  Glaen is a novel that takes on a Christian re-thinking of dating, courting, relating, and marriage…in the format of a novel.

Here is a note I received this week:

Hi, Mr. Lybrand!I actually finished Glaen the first day I started it! I believe I finished it in about 2 hours or so. I took notes, re-read it again a day or so later, and will re-read it yet again soon. I loved it.I loved the method for finding deep truths, even if they aren’t that incredibly hard to think of or understand. I gave a mini teaching of it/ discussion with my girls (youth group girls that I’m partly in charge of mentoring and leading) at 3:00am on New Year’s morning. (We were having a sleepover.)The next day when we were having lunch at Culver’s, I noticed that some of the girls at a table near me were having an argument on a tough subject that was bringing frustration and not really cutting to some of the core of the issue. I put to use many of the truths from your book, and the argument was resolved. Mostly what was needed were “just definitions” and a bit of love. I had been learning just before reading this book that I needed to know the exact truth opposite of the lies. Knowing the lies themselves isn’t good enough. This was a huge help! When I thought about it, it was as if I had known these truths in part, but since I couldn’t define them for myself, I couldn’t particularly focus on living them out better, or pray for help on living it.

I have seriously seen a change in myself since reading this book, and I can’t wait to see the change in others. I am so excited about learning more and more truths, now and all throughout the rest of my life!

Thank you!

Blessings,

~ Rachel E. Payauys

Honestly, there are just a few days left…so please go to the site www.glaen.com and sign up.

Also, feel free to pass this along.

God bless,

Fred Lybrand

www.glaen.com

P.S.  Most of all…I’d like your feedback after you’ve read it!

Read Full Post »

The Seven Fatal Mistakes of Dating

This is part of 7 blogs through which I want to introduce you to the fatal mistakes in dating that GLAEN introduces to the reader.  If you have a friend or an older child who is making mistakes (or wants to date with a little more wisdom), then these videos are for you to share far-and-wide.  I’d also love your comments…and go get a copy of GLAEN at your local bookstore, amazon, or www.glaen.com

FATAL DATING MISTAKE #7

Read Full Post »

The Seven Fatal Mistakes of Dating

This is part of 7 blogs through which I want to introduce you to the fatal mistakes in dating that GLAEN introduces to the reader.  If you have a friend or an older child who is making mistakes (or wants to date with a little more wisdom), then these videos are for you to share far-and-wide.  I’d also love your comments…and go get a copy of GLAEN at your local bookstore, amazon, or www.glaen.com

FATAL DATING MISTAKE #6

Read Full Post »

The Seven Fatal Mistakes of Dating

This is part of 7 blogs through which I want to introduce you to the fatal mistakes in dating that GLAEN introduces to the reader.  If you have a friend or an older child who is making mistakes (or wants to date with a little more wisdom), then these videos are for you to share far-and-wide.  I’d also love your comments…and go get a copy of GLAEN at your local bookstore, amazon, or www.glaen.com

FATAL DATING MISTAKE #5

Read Full Post »

The Seven Fatal Mistakes of Dating

This is part of 7 blogs through which I want to introduce you to the fatal mistakes in dating that GLAEN introduces to the reader.  If you have a friend or an older child who is making mistakes (or wants to date with a little more wisdom), then these videos are for you to share far-and-wide.  I’d also love your comments…and go get a copy of GLAEN at your local bookstore, amazon, or www.glaen.com

FATAL DATING MISTAKE # 4

Read Full Post »

The Seven Fatal Mistakes of Dating

This is part of 7 blogs through which I want to introduce you to the fatal mistakes in dating that GLAEN introduces to the reader.  If you have a friend or an older child who is making mistakes (or wants to date with a little more wisdom), then these videos are for you to share far-and-wide.  I’d also love your comments…and go get a copy of GLAEN at your local bookstore, amazon, or www.glaen.com

FATAL DATING MISTAKE # 3

Read Full Post »

The Seven Fatal Mistakes of Dating

This is part of 7 blogs through which I want to introduce you to the fatal mistakes in dating that GLAEN introduces to the reader.  If you have a friend or an older child who is making mistakes (or wants to date with a little more wisdom), then these videos are for you to share far-and-wide.  I’d also love your comments…and go get a copy of GLAEN at your local bookstore, amazon, or www.glaen.com

FATAL DATING MISTAKE # 2

Have the Wrong Goal
✔ Dating just to have fun is a dead end. You really need to have a long term
relationship in mind for it to last.

Read Full Post »

From GLAEN, p. 26

Relationship Field Book Journal

Theory 2: Courting
…An old-fashioned prelude to marriage being
re-popularized by some Christians. Courting is
defined by Webster’s as, “to engage in social
activities leading to engagement and marriage.”

At first blush the idea of courting makes a lot of sense.  Doesn’t it make sense to take interacting with the opposite sex as something a little more directed than just having fun till the sun comes up over Santa Monica Boulevard?

Unfortunately, the way it is played out reminds me of my dad’s words of wisdom, “Son, if you are in the ditch, and get out of the ditch and cross the road to the other ditch…you’re still in the ditch.”  Well, many times going from serial dating to courting turns out to be a ditch-to-ditch phenomenon.  I personally have been connected to courting disasters…all well meaning.

The challenge with courting is that it somewhat requires you to ‘commit before your commit’.  In other words, since you are entering the relationship with both eyes (or all four) on marriage, you really need to know that the persons involved are a match for marriage.  The problem is that they rarely really know each other.  So, in the process of getting to know each other they may discover it isn’t a ‘match’ (Glaen gets you started on how to find out if it is a match or not)— but, the wedding invitations have already been bought and mailed.  Well, you get the idea.

Of course, stopping at any point before marriages happens with all kinds of strategies.  But isn’t that sort of the point?  We can tend to elevate the idea of being married (successfully I might add) over actually being committed to (or yea, even love) the person we are considering marrying.

Is there a better way?  I think so… and we might as well call it the ‘way of truth’.  If we follow the truth, and are true to ourselves; we wind up being very attractive to someone who likes who we really are (since we aren’t putting on an act or trying to make something work).  We might want to face it someday— relationships are a gamble; but being true to yourself and finding someone who is the same way is a good a shot at bliss!

Billy Joel penned these words for the song ‘Just the Way You Are‘,


Don’t go changing, to try and please me
You never let me down before
Don’t imagine you’re too familiar
And I don’t see you anymore
I wouldn’t leave you in times of trouble
We never could have come this far
I took the good times, I’ll take the bad times
I’ll take you just the way you are

Don’t go trying some new fashion
Don’t change the color of your hair
You always have my unspoken passion
Although I might not seem to care

I don’t want clever conversation
I never want to work that hard
I just want someone that I can talk to
I want you just the way you are.

Of course, Billy Joel wrote these words as a birthday present for his now-divorced-from first wife (he split with his 3rd wife in the summer of 2009)…so, as we all know both ‘singing it’ and ‘pulling it off’ can be quite a challenge.

While the words might make some sense at the start of a relationship, they do have two inherent problems:

1.  What if you actually do want someone who is clever in conversation?

2.  Isn’t the person now obligated to ‘never change’ because that is the condition of love the singer established?

Seriously, new hair, new fashions, clever conversation, and complaining that he don’t talk enough will drive the guy singing the song up the wall!

We all tend to grow (we hope) which means you actually may need to renew your commitment and love many times as you build a life with another person.  Being genuine and truthful gives you a much better shot at ‘guaranteeing success’ in a relationship than either serial dating or the premature commitment that often comes with courting.

What to here more?

Go to www.GLAEN.com

Blessing,

Fred Lybrand

Read Full Post »

Follow

Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.